Writing narratives

The Grade 4 students have been editing and improving their narrative stories.

They have tried to use descriptive language and follow the format with an orientation, problem and solution.

Here are some class examples ....

THE DRAGON AND THE WARRIOR

BY TEPPI

There once was a fire breathing, extremely dangerous, flesh eating monster locked behind strong metal bars.

Each year, the monster would try to escape but failed.

This year, however, it escaped using it’s magnificent claws to to bend the bars while breathing fire on them.

Yes, the monster that escaped is a dragon.

”AHHHHHHHHHHHH” It said in one big, stinky mouthful.

It wandered around. I could see the gigantic, filthy body of this beast. I could feel the heat it is producing. It became very humid. I could smell the worst smell in my life.  It was like moldy cheese. YUCK, that guy needed a shower, and quickly.

Just then, it glared it eyes at me, gesturing something bad was going to happen. I ran as fast as I could. Sweat was running down my face. I felt tired but did not dare look back.  Then I saw a tiny speck of light in the grass.

I picked it up and saw that it was a sword. It had had my name on it.There was a message for me in cursive. It started like this…

Hello,friend

When you receive this, it means you are in grave danger. Use this.

From yours sincerely

Your friend

I had an idea. Suddenly, the dragon came charging at me like a bullet. I raised the sword high up in the air and attacked the dragon. Blood spilled out of its injury like milk in a cracked bottle. Meanwhile, the dragon started a bush fire with it’s horrible breath.

I jumped in mid-air and struck the dragon on the neck.

It leapt into air and shrieked in horror.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW”It screamed.

Then it took it’s last breath of air

And it died.

THE FIRE by Lukas Nilson

I was playing with friends. We were playing tag. We were in a big grassy field.

I noticed that my friends were suddenly gone. I looked around and saw something. It was big. It was a raging fire. I was so shocked  couldn’t move. I was standing alone with the big fire. I could not move and was filled with sadness. My friends had left me alone.

I forced my body to go toward the fire. I thought there might be someone in there. I stepped into the fire. I felt the fire burning my feet. It hurt so much. It felt like a knife stabbing through me. I was about to cry. I had to keep going. I couldn’t go back. I was already halfway.

At first I didn’t see anyone in the fire. Then I saw a little girl. She was curled up and crying. She was pale and her eyes were watering. She was screaming at the top of her voice “I beg you - please help me”. I carried her and started to run out of the fire. I could feel the pain again. It was horrible.

I could see the field again when I finally got out of the fire. I could hear people clapping. They said “You saved the girl” “Lukas Nilson you saved a four year old girl”