Thursday, March 16, 2017

Descriptive writing

The Grade 4 students have been practicing their descriptive writing. They are currently editing and publishing three pieces from personal experiences.

In the coming week they will be posting their work on their blogs.

Here are some samples of work in progress.


The giraffe by Calidina

It was a hot. It was the middle of the day. It took just 30 minutes. The boiling sun was shining down on the dry earth. I was wearing shorts with a long sleeve T-shirt. I didn't realize how hot is it going to be. I was sweating. I could hear people shouting, screaming , and taking a photos. It really stunk in the giraffes feeding center and Thailand zoo. I was surrounded by giraffes and people, I was with my family.

Goosebumps was all over my skin. My hand was shaking. I saw the long tough neck of a giraffe. I was horrified. It took a while when my mum convince me to step closer to feed the giraffes. I reached forward and put a banana into its mouth. It tongue curled around the banana and the giraffes gobbled it up. The giraffes were squishing each other to get the banana I was holding. I was terrified..

First time at KARATE!    By Da Hee


It was early in the morning. It was over in 30 minutes. The light was coming from the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. The room was silent. I felt nervous. I had goosebumps all over my skin. I was in a room that was so big that I could dance around it. My mom was watching me from outside the door. I was no longer frightened of going to Karate class.

I was embarrassed at first but my teacher said “ It’s fine. It’s your first time” so I trusted him. It went perfectly AWESOME!.  We started doing weird exercising things with my hand and legs. Then I had to run around in circles 10 times to warm up. Finally I was learning to kick. It was hard because I had to balance and I had to put my other feet to the side when I tried to kick.

When I learned how to punch it wasn’t easy at all. I had to look at the mirror and I had to pull out my hand from my chest. I kept trying until it became easier. My teacher gave me a karate clothes to wear when I returned for my next lesson. I am learning Karate.

The Nightmare By Jae Yong

It was a hot summer night. The sun had just down. The attack took about 20 minutes. The light came from the shiny moon. There was hard rain and the air was full of moisture. I heard hard punches. I was all alone with a boxing kangaroo with white horrible eyes.

I was staring at the kangaroo trying to beat me up. My heart was beating really quickly. I was trying to make my leg move. I was sobbing the whole way through.
I froze and was able to do nothing but close my eyes. I was terrified.

I was about to explode. Nothing made me this scared before.
I was in this whole nightmare. There was nothing I could do. I was to horrified.
The kangaroo came closer jabbing everywhere he wanted to.
I was terrified of his punches. His muscular arms were going faster and stronger.

I was not able to dodge, only run for my life. I needed to survive the kangaroo in this place. It was a open field bigger than a boxing ring but as good as one.
Everything went black,I thought I was dead, finished, absolutely finished.

But I was wrong the light began coming again getting brighter and brighter.
I came back to my cozy house.

That taught me a lesson. The lesson was home is the safest place in world.
Home sweet home.


A Book and a Pencil by Jihwan

This has all happened in December 2015.
Just after the start of the school.
It took me about 20 minutes.
The light was coming from Classroom’s warm light supported by Morning Sun.
Burning Sun was outside, but the classroom was nice and cool with the Air Conditioner. I could hear Ms. Teresa (my teacher) telling students what to do.
My teacher and my new classmates were there with me.

Sitting in that mat with everyone else.
My heart was pounding so hard that it felt like it is gonna explode soon.
Frozen completely not knowing a single word that Ms. Teresa says.
Hardly managing my eyes not to cry.
My brain couldn't give me a single clue of what they are talking about.
Panic with my Brain white. Just sitting there like a dumb chicken statue.

Ms. Teresa gave out the instructions with the language of Headache.
I was the only one that thought that thought this language was deadly.
Other people seemed to know what Ms. Teresa says PERFECTLY.
All I needed there was a nice translator telling me what to do so I don’t feel DUMB.
I was very disappointed for myself.
Because everybody knew what they are doing, except for ME.

As I told you, my brain was clueless. It was just blank at that moment.
I just wanted to go back to Korea. Where I could communicate with any of the people.
Magician’s help was needed. Seriously. It was a nightmare.
I felt like I was DEAD. Well, back in Korea, I have learnt English.
But the Teachers were able to speak Korean.
They teach English there.

The Dancing Challenge  by Kim Chhoung

It was just after breakfast at 11:30. It lasted 3 minutes.
The light source came from the sun. I could hear people talking and shouting. I could feel the wind blowing against my robe. I was with my group and my brothers friends and other secondary students. I was no longer nervous.

I started to dance but my heart was pounding. I just danced anyway. I did not think about the way my hands were shaking as I walked into the stage. I was breathing slowly, my heart was pounding.

I feel like running but I will just embarrass myself if I do so. I led an excuse to go to the bathroom and try to do something about it so I drank lots of water and went back on stage. The music started to play…!
My stomach was growling, I feel like forgetting about this then my crew started to move and dance, so I did the same.

I was walking on stage it was really scary and nerve wrecking. I was the leader and the first one in line so I count the number of circles and we had to wear a fancy costume. I imagined that was just practicing and looked past the audience and it worked.


First time in Korea by Monyroat

It was an early morning in Korea. It took about ten minutes to get ready and go outside in the soft snow. The light wasn’t that bright because of all the dark clouds blocking the shining sun.The temperature was freezing and I heard loud blows of wind blowing against my face and a small kid crying. I wore about six layers of clothes. I smelled fresh air. My whole family was there looking around our hotel. The wind started to blow harder and the weather started to get colder, I was no longer moving.

I didn’t know what the temperature was but I knew it was freezing. I took long steps into the snow and carefully touched it. I felt it and it was soft like sand but it wasn’t crumbling in my hands. It was almost as if I was holding thin air. Suddenly I heard cars and trucks roaring loudly. I saw lots of vehicles lined up in three rows behind my back.

My cousin took a big leap into the soft snow and landed in the snow face first. I laughed as hard as I could and he lifted himself back up. He patted the snow off his chest and pants. Suddenly I had an excellent idea, I was going to have a race with everyone. I was pacing around in the snow. I was super energetic and very talkative. My eyes were darting everywhere for snow and sure enough it was everywhere.

I rubbed my hands hard and fast, I was so ready for this! I felt joy all around my body and I was surrounded by happiness. I kept smiling and giggling and I was surprisingly still running around in circles. My feet were trembling, my fingers were tingling and I was shivering because of the coldness. I was pretty nervous but I felt like I was victorious already. My heart was pounding hard, I wanted to dance and be hyper.

This was it, The moment was about to start in 3,2,1 GO!!!! I darted ahead of him but he was still really fast but I was determined to win, I got ahead of him and I crossed the finish line first! I was really happy that I finally beat my cousin at something. After that moment I was pretty tired so we went back to the hotel to get some drinks.


Ninth Birthday

It was the 15th of July. It was the late morning. It took one hour. There was bright light. I could smell steak. My family and friends were there. It was my first time that I ate steak when it was my birthday. I was no longer 8 years old.

I was smiling and talking a lot. I kept on getting the giggles. I talked so much. I felt happiness inside my body. I had goosebumps when people sing happy birthday to me. My lips moved into a smile. I felt hyped, and full of energy. I really wanted to eat the tasty cake. As soon as I saw the cake I felt really hungry. The smell just want to kill me. I felt good after I ate the cake.

Then I went to Aeon. While I was walking to the movies I heard people talking and shouting. When I was in the movie place I can smell sweet popcorn. I chose cheese popcorn. The cheese popcorn is more delicious than the cake. After finishing the movie I smelled sweet popcorn again.

Then I went home and play a bit of fun games. I played for thirty minutes. After I finish playing that I opened some presents. The best gift I had got was phenomenal. It was a shirt. Then I went to my room and have a nice shower. My birthday finished there.

THE SCAN by Otis

It was early in the hot afternoon. It lasted 1 hour and 30 minutes.
The light was coming from the cold flickering ceiling lights. I could hear the buzzing of the machines and the whirring of the scanning machine. I could also hear the faint voices of people singing songs in my ears.

I was was shaking and cold. I was with my dad and a few doctors. I was no longer hot. I was no longer swallowing. I had a dry mouth I was gasping for air and hoping it would be over. I was clutching the emergency button. I was thinking of when it would be over.

I was feeling worried. I was feeling dizzy and then everything went black.
I opened my eyes but everything was blurry. I was trying to be still but I could not be still. I was shaking and hoping it was all over.

Snorkeling Adventures  by Stirling

It was a late morning, 10.am in Fiji.  It took 30 minutes. It felt like it was so early.
I saw the sun but it was shining somewhere else as I put my goggles on.
As I dunk in the water I blew big bubbles that I could hear.
My feet nearly touch the coral. That made me shiver in the cold deep water.
My mom and my cousin were watching me struggling to get air. I was no longer blowing bubbles as I felt like a dead floating starfish.

I managed to see fish thinking what a wonderful ocean. I tried to jump deeper but I float back up and tried until I was amazed. My heart was dancing My brain was thinking how to do my best. I still knew I could do better.

The sand got into my swimsuit making me itchy as I tried to shake it off.
I felt like a turtle soaring slowly through the sea. I wanted to go deeper but I could only go half way. My heart stop beating like I was gonna drown.
To my relief I was breathing, I was proud of myself. I was not dead.
THE END OF THE SNORKELING ADVENTURES!

CHRISTMAS IN KUCHING by Tasha
It was a cold Christmas eve. It was late evening in Kuching. It lasted an hour. There was light coming from the moon and the bulbs on the ceilings. There was a soft cold breeze that tickled my whole body. I sat down on the couch. I heard Dogs barking happily, my cousins talking with my little brother. My aunts & uncles talking with my mom & dad. I sniffed the air with my nose.

I could smell the aroma of tasty food in the air. “Yum,” I thought. My cousin walked up to me and asked me to follow her. She took me to the other part of the living room. I wondered what was going on. She took a enormous present off the table. I was jumping up and down with excitement. She gave me the present that was wrapped up in violet wrapping paper. I ripped it slowly.

A huge smile appeared on my face. It was a rubber band bracelet making, set! I went out of the room and said thank you to my cousin. I instantly started making rubber band bracelets as fast as my hands can make one. I now have a present for christmas !

I felt very energetic. I started running around, hugging my cousins. I also began talking a lot. Asking lots of questions, like “Where did you buy it?” &  “How long did it take for you to find it.” I what a wonderful christmas to celebrate with my cousins, aunts, uncles and especially my FAMILY!

I went in a car to my cousins house in Kuching. I was twitching with excitement. I was bouncing up and down in the car during the journey. I kept asking my mom where we were going. She said that we were going to my 2nd cousin’s house. They were Sharon and Karen. When we arrived I gave them a big hug. I did the same to my aunt and uncle.

Sharon’s boyfriend gave me a piggy back ride in the living room. I played with my cousins and him in the living room. After a while, we all went outside to sing songs. When I started singing, I felt warmth of joy in my body. We sang songs like amazing grace. While I sang I had a paper in front of me incase I forgot the words.

After that we went back inside and waited for dinner to be ready. My cousin asked me to follow her. So followed her. She led me to a table which had presents on it. She handed it to me. Man was it huge! It wasn’t that heavy. I felt the softness of the wrapping paper. THe wrapping paper was the colour of lavender.

I ripped it slowly. I could hear the noise of myself ripping the paper. I was curious. I ripped the last bit of wrapping paper even more slowly. My eyes were wide open. It was a loom band bracelet making set! I was just about to open the box lid. Until I was interrupted. I was breathing through my nose and I caught a sniff of food. I ate dinner then I went home.

I was stuffed with food. After that I said to my mom “Thank you mum for bringing me to Kuching for christmas.” She replied “You’re welcome.”

MEETING IN THE TREE   by Zoe


It was a late February, so the days were short and the nights long. As it was dusk, the sun rays were making the floating dust glimmer and shimmer.
It didn’t last long. Only around fifteen minutes approximately. My hands hurt as I watched the sunset. But it was worth it.
I had to climb up my rope on the mango tree to get on the branch I was perched on. The sun glowed a really bright orangey-red. The faint light came from that great ball of fire that was suspended by nothing, far away in the sky.
I parted a bright green new-grown leaf that was blocking my view and tickling my face. The sky behind the leaves had many beautiful colors! There was candy-pink, sky-blue, crimson-red and shimmering  orange. A soft breeze ruffled my hair as I closed my eyes. I loved being here. It was so calming.
I lived in the city and I knew that construction would soon invade the kingdom that beheld bravely in front of me. But I would go here anyway, to at least see the sky melt into velvety-black and twinkling stars. I wanted to still be able to lose myself.

“Miow?” I heard a low voice say. I whipped my head towards the dark brown tree trunk. Mingus, my half tame, half wild, tabby cat stared suspiciously at me, with his turquoise-greenish eyes piercing a hole through me.
“What are you doing in a tree?” He seemed to ask me.

I’ve seen him climb trees but he never saw me in a tree. I did it plenty of times but he never caught me in the act! He didn’t know that I loved sitting in a branch or hanging from a trunk.
He was probably stunned!

Mingus gave me an accusing glare. Who was I to disrupt the laws between human and cat? Cats climb trees; humans don’t!
But I did.


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